That Was Close

29 January 2013 in 20 Minute Stories

* Note – this is definitely just the beginning.  I’m mostly just putting this here to remember to finish it.  Stay tuned for its epic conclusion…

“I really need to put bars on that window.  This is getting slightly ridiculous, “ Graham muttered to himself, dreading the fact that he had to get the vacuum cleaner out for the second time in as many weeks.

The real shocker for Graham though wasn’t so much that a monkey had come flying through his living room window;  that has now happened on three separate occasions.  It was the fact that the monkey spoke to him that Graham found slightly curious and unsettling.

“Phew! That was close,” exlcaimed the monkey as it hopped off the now-demolished coffee table, trotted over to the fridge and grabbed the last Old Milwaukee Tall Boy that Graham had been avoiding all morning.

Graham watched, mouth agape, as the monkey popped open the tab and started chugging back the Tall Boy.  He figured that he’d have been less shocked had it been a chimpanzee that flew through the window and started speaking, but this was a capuchin he reckoned.  A capuchin monkey that could apparently speak and chug a half litre of beer like an overheated construction worker.

He wasn’t sure what he should be expecting from the situation.  Aside from the obvious, the monkey didn’t seem out of the ordinary – black fur with white face, green overalls, slightly diabolical, yet disapproving face.

A loud belch echoed from the monkey’s tiny mouth as he flipped the can over his head, directly into the blue box without looking.  “Impressive,” Graham shouted over to him.

For a brief moment, the monkey glared at him, then hopped up, walked over to Graham and slapped him in the face.

“What the hell was that for?” Graham shouted.

Another slap.

“Look, I didn’t ask to be thrown through that window.  The least you could have done is offered me a drink,” shouted the monkey.

“Hey buddy, I’m not trying to be an ass, but you have to admit that this isn’t exactly the most common way for people to enter my house!”

Another slap.

“Okay, okay, I deserved that one.”

Tags: , , , ,

29 January 2013 20 Minute Stories